a multitude of small delights

cafeshopau: swingemdry replied to your post: #I DEFINITELY THOUGHT THIS WAS A VAGINA AT FIRST… ...

Sun, 12 May 2013 22:29:16 -0400

swingemdry replied to your post: #I DEFINITELY THOUGHT THIS WAS A VAGINA AT FIRST…

how did u not

DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT POST IM TALKING ABOT OMG

OKAY WAIT I JUST REALIZED I LINKE D THE TAGS DONT LOOK AT ME ITS FINALS OKAY

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Sat, 11 May 2013 00:31:39 -0400

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Fri, 10 May 2013 12:57:09 -0400

food52: Pour yourself a cup of tea, and choose one of our...

Fri, 10 May 2013 12:50:52 -0400

food52:

Pour yourself a cup of tea, and choose one of our delicious biscuits or scones to make.

Read more: 7 Biscuits & Scones on Food52

WAIT BUT WHAT IF WE COSPLAYED NIGHTBIRD WOULD THAT BE TOO MUCH

Thu, 09 May 2013 20:46:32 -0400

;ladjfa;lkdjsf;alksjdf;kahs;kdfjhakweha;khjdf;ajsdf;lkajdf;k WHAT IF WE WERE NIGHTBIRD AND KITTENBOY???

theclotheshorse: street fashion by it’s my darlin’

Mon, 06 May 2013 14:13:28 -0400

theclotheshorse:

street fashion by it’s my darlin’

"1. White terrorists are called “gunmen.” What does that even mean? A person with a gun? Wouldn’t..."

Mon, 06 May 2013 13:29:09 -0400

“

1. White terrorists are called “gunmen.” What does that even mean? A person with a gun? Wouldn’t that be, like, everyone in the US? Other terrorists are called, like, “terrorists.”

2. White terrorists are “troubled loners.” Other terrorists are always suspected of being part of a global plot, even when they are obviously troubled loners.

3. Doing a study on the danger of white terrorists at the Department of Homeland Security will get you sidelined by angry white Congressmen. Doing studies on other kinds of terrorists is a guaranteed promotion.

4. The family of a white terrorist is interviewed, weeping as they wonder where he went wrong. The families of other terrorists are almost never interviewed.

5. White terrorists are part of a “fringe.” Other terrorists are apparently mainstream.

6. White terrorists are random events, like tornadoes. Other terrorists are long-running conspiracies.

7. White terrorists are never called “white.” But other terrorists are given ethnic affiliations.

8. Nobody thinks white terrorists are typical of white people. But other terrorists are considered paragons of their societies.

9. White terrorists are alcoholics, addicts or mentally ill. Other terrorists are apparently clean-living and perfectly sane.

10. There is nothing you can do about white terrorists. Gun control won’t stop them. No policy you could make, no government program, could possibly have an impact on them. But hundreds of billions of dollars must be spent on police and on the Department of Defense, and on TSA, which must virtually strip search 60 million people a year, to deal with other terrorists.

”

- Juan Cole, 08/09/2012 (via thepeacefulterrorist)

Juan Cole actually wrote this 4 days after a white terrorist, yes, terrorist, murdered 6 and injured 4 people at a Sikh gurdwara in Wisconsin. The terrorist who committed said crime spoke of an impending “racial holy war” beforehand and was a member of white supremacist/neo-Nazi hate groups.

(via mohandasgandhi)

A Ricotta Crostini Party never goes out of style.

Mon, 06 May 2013 01:02:07 -0400

A Ricotta Crostini Party never goes out of style.

"Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s..."

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:02:34 -0400

“Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion.

Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.

That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?

The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure.”

- Why You Shouldn’t Tell That Random Girl On The Street That She’s Hot » Brute Reason (via albinwonderland)

What I Learned From Gay Sex: Misogyny And Homophobia

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:40:21 -0400

What I Learned From Gay Sex: Misogyny And Homophobia:

sinidentidades:

I am not quiet during sex. I communicate my desires and ask the same of my partners. I believe that this not only creates a safe sexual environment but makes for the most pleasurable experience for everyone. If I’m making sounds that aren’t words, that more or less means I’m having a good time. People generally respond well to this type of nonverbal feedback; I’ve only had one person object to my use of nonverbal expression, and that was Peter.

Peter is a gay man I slept with once. I met him in a gay bar when I was living in New York, and I thought he was perfect. He worked with homeless queer youth. He had a dog. He was a little taller than average, and stocky, wearing jeans, a T-shirt and Puma high tops. He was bearded. He said things like “you’re so unlike everyone your age” (he was 11 years older than I) and “I never go home with anyone the night I meet them.” When he did come home with me and we were naked in my bed, he kissed my neck, and I moaned, high-pitched and breathy. He stopped, looked me in the eye and said, “Don’t do that. It’s faggy.”

Now, this was several years ago, and I hadn’t yet learned that people like Peter are to be either ignored, laughed at or taught, so I became a caricature of “not faggy”: I grunted (no more moaning), I pretended that I wasn’t hurt by what he said (feelings are for girls, as I recalled learning during childhood), and I tried to act as masculine as possible, because that is the opposite of faggy, the opposite of the femme gay man who gestures, speaks quickly in a high-pitched voice and says “darling.” I became that silly thing because I wanted Peter to love me.

He stood me up on our next date, and I never heard from him again.

Eventually surpassing the typical “what did I do wrong?” stage of self-hatred, I asked myself, “What does it mean that Peter called me faggy for expressing pleasure?” And so I learned that people like Peter are part of a larger problem: pervasive misogyny.

Typically we say that “fag,” “sissy,” “nancy,” “nelly” and “fairy” are homophobic words, and although they certainly are used to perpetuate homophobia, they are not homophobic in and of themselves; the usage of any of these words as slurs usually targets people with male-sexed bodies who do not act sufficiently masculine. They prize masculinity by demonizing femininity. This is probably rooted in some outdated, essentialist reading of gender where women are biologically the weaker, pathetic sex, but we know today that in addition to being totally offensive, gender essentialism is more or less bullshit, because women can vote and work and beat men into submission, and men can cook and clean and stay at home with the kids. But although it was relatively easy to deconstruct the misogyny in Peter’s abuse, getting to the root of why a man, while lying naked with another man and kissing him, would call that man’s expression of pleasure too gay is a more complicated subject. I would suggest that Peter calling me faggy is part of a larger queer cultural heritage.

Queer people live in a constant narrative of struggle; today we struggle for legally recognized marriage, and in 2003 we struggled for the right to have consensual sex, but 60 years ago queer role models fought for the right to exist in public or private. To gain those rights, they used an effective strategy called assimilation, which dictated that queer people look and act as much as possible like straight people. The Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis both did it intentionally in the ’50s, and it was probably the most aggressive option to say “we are normal, just like you” at a time when police were encouraged to raid gay bars, arrest patrons and publish their names and faces in the newspaper the following day. However, “just like you” literally bleached queer people of color from the movement and rendered trans people invisible, because “just like you” referred to white men in power and their wives who had the sway to validate any queer identity legally. Assimilation was successful in that discrimination against LGBT people is now illegal in many forms, but it also created an “acceptable gay man,” and he was white and masculine and certainly did not say “darling.” It also created and validated a favorite excuse for anti-gay bigotry, “I’m fine with gay people as long as they don’t flaunt it,” because suddenly there were gay people who were not “normal.” “Normal” gay men today ape that heterosexual excuse for bigotry by blaming “abnormal” gays for the the maltreatment of gays as a whole.

Peter is a “normal” gay man, so when my behavior started to drift outside “normal,” he reprimanded me much in the same way that police officers, gym teachers or parents might have done in the ’50s (and today, to be fair). And although the ’50s were over 60 years ago, that attitude remains pervasive: Look at any on gay dating website or smartphone app and you’ll see our twisted heritage as “preferences” based on a hierarchy of who can pass as a successful straight man: “Looking for masc, musc, no femmes, white only.” Though the irony that none of us is straight does not escape me, I’d like to focus more on how regressive this is; we are literally contributing to our own oppression by upholding this bizarre heritage of misogyny created in the ’50s.

So let’s make life easier on all queer people and stop mimicking the worst parts of heterosexism. Who knows? We could even begin to support each other. How revolutionary.

"You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this..."

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:01:30 -0400

““You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist? And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might see themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.””

- Junot Diaz (via djalykhan)

the fact that it has been almost 12 hours since the dads heard any news does not inspire me with...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:49:40 -0400

the fact that it has been almost 12 hours since the dads heard any news does not inspire me with confidence. plus the fact that they are in a time zone that is 5 hours ahead meaning they will likely be asleep when they do receive news and i will be asleep when they convey it to me.

"Femininity is depicted as weakness, the sapping of strength, yet masculinity is so fragile that..."

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:40:32 -0400

“Femininity is depicted as weakness, the sapping of strength, yet masculinity is so fragile that apparently even the slightest brush with the feminine destroys it.”

- Gwen Sharp (via ineedmymorningtea)

bohemea: Helen Mirren: Great Dame - Vogue by Mikael Jansson,...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:29:03 -0400

bohemea:

Helen Mirren: Great Dame - Vogue by Mikael Jansson, March 2013

i kind of want to curl up and pretend the world doesn’t exist for a little while. and i was...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 13:05:59 -0400

i kind of want to curl up and pretend the world doesn’t exist for a little while. and i was an IDIOT and texted my friend i was glad his dad was ok after his surgery and then wake up to a text from my dad that there were complications and i just feel really really horrible and stupid because you shouldn’t assume someone is out of the woods after really serious surgery but i was dumb and doped up on meds because SICK and i feel awful and i’m getting secondhand information from my dads who aren’t even in the country and i hate this day.

"No one is a slut. “Slut” is a made-up word to keep women from having as much fun as men. A person..."

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 16:57:51 -0400

“No one is a slut. “Slut” is a made-up word to keep women from having as much fun as men. A person who enjoys sex is just a person and a person who is a virgin is also just a person and everyone should lay off each other’s sex lives. Retire the word “slut” please.”

- 20 Things We Need To Stop Talking About In 2013 (via ellielamothe)

itscolossal: The Book vase by YOY (via fuck yeah book arts)

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 13:05:14 -0400

itscolossal:

The Book vase by YOY (via fuck yeah book arts)

theeafter-party: April is Sexual Assault Awareness...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 13:03:45 -0400

theeafter-party:

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month!!!

Thus far, my sorors and I have been working hard to spread the word, from our “Teal Tuesdays” (teal is the official color for the commemorative month), to sharing statistics and facts with the student body, to our whiteboard campaign. It was great to see my peers willingly join in and express themselves, as we worked to raise awareness about SAAM. :)

This is just a few of the MANY photos we have taken, posted, and shared…and from what I’ve been informed, our movement has been picked up by the Deltas and our sorors at Bethune-Cookman University, as well.

Service…gotta love it!

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Thu, 25 Apr 2013 00:48:33 -0400

beeishappy: TDS | TCR 2013.04.22 [x]

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 13:47:24 -0400

beeishappy:

TDS | TCR 2013.04.22 [x]